I can remember it like it was still happening, like I am in that exact moment as we speak. Sitting in the Detroit airport, on the floor, hair up in a messy pony, ugly crying as I expressed my soul to my husband.
Now, let me preface this story by saying that I am a firm believer in that you are put into situations for certain reasons. God has thorough prepped you for whatever you may be going through, no matter if you believe it or not. And let me tell you, if you lean more into the “not” side of believing, I promise that if you let go of and trust him a tiny bit, he will blow you out of the water with what strength he has. Seriously though, if you’re anything like me, you like to control things and think you have the power to change them yourself. But if just for a second, you have a little faith and take the step off the edge (that big, scary, unknown edge), you will soar to places far more amazing than anything you could have imagined. If you don’t read past this sentence, I want you to remember that “you got this, boo”.
Friends, if you know my story, you know that I moved to a town that I personally would have never imagined myself living in….Ever. Not that there is anything wrong with this little town, it actually has a lot of character if you look hard enough. But still, for whatever reason, I had a really hard time adjusting, and still do. My anxiety gets the best of me on more days than I would like to admit because I am always worrying about everything that comes with it.
“Van Wert? Man God, why here, why this, why now?” This phrase, this blasted phrase. I wish I could tell you that I have never shouted this in rage, while shaking my fits at Homeboy upstairs, but I am a believer in vulnerability if you want to make sounding friendships, so I can’t lie. Every single day, literally this has run through my head every single day since I moved. Listen, I tried, I tried SO HARD getting involved in so much, like everything, but my heart never felt like it was not being used in the ways it could be. I ran every idea of what I could bring new to the table by all my friends. If you were one of my lovely clients, you were probably sick of me telling you that I just haven’t found my spot here, sorry about that. I have a very small group of friends, which I am not used to, that I feel comfortable calling up to hang out. I seem to have struggled searching for more that I haven’t been able to love on people like I should have. But, man the friends I have made, THEY ARE THE BEST. They have laughed, cried, hurt, rejoiced, and every other emotion that comes with trying to find yourself with me in such a beautiful way. They have offered me SO much grace. Two of those being our friends, Reagan and Kyle.
Reagan and I clicked instantly when we met. We got to know each other more through doing hair for weddings together and this oily business (#BLESSIT). Her and Kyle have always gone out of their way when we were with them to make us feel welcomed and loved so hard, actually their entire group of friends did for that matter. I don’t even think they know just how much that meant to Eric and I. Through their friendships, we have met so so many people including their friends and family. What a blessing that has been! More specifically, I met one of her Aunts. She would come get her hair done by Reagan and we would always small talk about how life and work were going. Reagan’s Aunt is a social worker and would snag my heart every time we talked (as much as she honestly could while staying compliant), opening up my eyes for the need right here in our community.
So, there I am, sobbing. Friends, I am the most closed up person ever, so this was so strange. Being crazy intentional with my husband like no one else was there, all while being surrounded by so many people. I can’t 100% speak for the people around us, but I can imagine that they were thinking I was one brick shy of a load. Although, I couldn’t even take my eyes off my husband to look at their expression, so this is just a complete guess.
And then, it just poured out. “Bub, I want to foster to adopt”.
YUPP, there it was. It was the weirdest thing. I hadn’t been thinking about it around that time or even reading anything either, but for whatever reason, I just couldn’t control my emotions about it like I was invested and planed this for months. All my feelings came pouring out of my mouth that I had only had the courage to share bits and pieces about to him before. Earlier Conversations that didn’t have the strength to become anything because I never gave it the gusto it deserved. I can now look back to see that it was God’s way of preparing Eric for this conversation, this one right here, because let me tell you folks, it got his attention. He is a thinker, a question asker, a processor, a planner… not a jump in feet first kinda person like myself.
I think I have always believed that I would adopt, I don’t know why, but I always had a heart for it. Never in a million years did I think it would be my first, nor did I ever expect it to be from the United States for whatever unknown reason. But God is funny, and boy, does he know everything will end up perfect.
Where were we flying to that day, you ask? Well, to two of our best friends wedding. That may seem like an unnecessary detail of the story, but hold the phone for a second. At this wedding, we met this crazy bearded man. I’m not kidding this guy was hilarious. He wasn’t at out table, nor did we know him before, but for whatever reason he came across the party to come chat with just Eric and I. Guess what this guy does? He works for the Foster program in another county and was in the process of becoming a foster family himself. He was telling us facts and we were pouring our hearts to this random guy at a wedding in another country. Crazy or divine intervention? I’ll let you decide, but all three of us totally believed that God had his hand over this conversation. I truly believe that this was supposed to happen and why closed-up-me talked to Eric on a serious level about it just a day before in the most unpractical place.
It’s now so clear to why Eric went through countless interviews until he found the right job, why we made certain friends, and worked certain places. Why God said “no” to so many things and opened up so many “unwanted” doors. God is good, my friends, so so good.
So y’all, Meet the Fishpaw’s, a crazy family of over intentional people embracing God’s calling.
So, what the heck does that mean? Over the next several weeks, we will be embarking on a journey full of training, lots of emotions, and home visits to see if we are a good fit and, if in his will, to ultimately leads us to our first babe. Prayers are not only welcomed, but also needed! There will be more upcoming posts to keep everyone updated about the process! Read here about the organization we are working with in the process!
FRIENDS, ask us all the questions! I know there are tons because we have tons. I will do another post to answer everything I possibly can! We want to be as transparent as possible through all of this to maybe, just maybe help the world to see a need right here in our communities!