2 years. Where did that time go.. Ammiright?
Feels like just yesterday I was taking him to my friends wedding because I lost a bet over a sporting event which meant I had to go on a date with him and that was THE only time I had available when I came home. (Thanks to Tyler and Jenell for the first date😂) Funny how I hung out with him the entire weekend after that. O silly, young Bri- you were something else.
Here are 10 secrets I learned about marriage in this short time:
1. Marriage is hard. Like really, really hard. No book, advice, article can get you ready. There are days you reallllly have to work at respecting your differences and find the balance. It’s a whole new level of relationship and commitment. Confrontation is ok as long as it’s respectful. I mean this is with every relationship, but FOR SURE in marriage. No one is ever ready for it, but it comes with work!
2. Marriage changes you. I am a fly by the seat of my pants, free spirited, unorganized, anxious person. Eric is a optimistic, planning , straightforward, kind spirit. I think we have rubbed off on each other. I think he has become more adventurous and I more organized with certain things . Change is a part of life and as long as you have someone changing you for the better, I think it’s a good thing.
3. Chill the heck out and don’t sweat the small stuff. I’m telling you that cap on the toothpaste does not matter and you won’t even remember it in 5 years. Pick your battles and learn to let things go. If he doesn’t organize the dishwasher like he should, the world won’t end.
4. You will drive each other crazy sometimes. Those movies where they are perfectly in love, holding hands, walking down the beach every day. No, just no. There are days that I wish my fake Harry Potter wand actually worked. There are days I need space, and I know he feels the same. But I believe that individuality is ok. I thinks it’s a good thing to have some good quality time apart to appreciate the time together. (Literally wouldn’t be able to do this marriage thing without my girl gang, as weird as that sounds)
5. Listening is so important. Duh, right? But listening to both what your person is saying and what is coming out of your mouth. Being a sassafras, I can truly hurt his feelings, and it is so important to listen to tones of words. Sometimes I find myself thinking “I would have been pissed if he said that to me”.
6. You should be each others biggest fan in public and biggest constructive critic behind closed doors. There are days when he says things in public that we discuss when we get home and same with myself. Like how our words could be more kind, loving, and Christ like.
7. Time alone is seriously so important. We don’t take our phones on our dates and have times at home when phones aren’t allowed. We can tell when we haven’t gotten time for just us in a while because more arguments begin. And let me tell you, this is one of the hardest things for us because we are always on the go. We have to be super intentional about it.
8. It’s important to support each other’s dreams. Let me tell you, Eric is the best at this. He has never ever made me believe that I wasn’t worthy of my big dreams, no matter how off the wall they are. Nope. Not once. He actually has done the opposite. He has pushed me to dream bigger because he knows my worth and he know that will make me work that much harder. You guys, this has been the most empowering for our marriage.
9. Time with Jesus both together and individually is so so important. What a game changer it made in our marriage when Eric started waking me up every morning to praying over us. So simple- literally took 5 minutes, but it set the precedent for the rest of the day. Our words became kinder to each other, our bond became stronger, and our faith together became unbreakable.
10. Having the same hand to hold through everything is so worth it all. I’m telling you marriage is tough. There are obstacles, tears, and hard conversations. But it also brings daily laughter, someone to have your back always, a hand to hold when you are scared, and someone who you can be more connected with than you ever thought You would ever be in your life. When you have found someone who is worth working for and struggling with, you have found a good one. I would do it again in a heart beat.
Happy anniversary, bub. Here is to many more adventures, lessons learned, and years working on together. I love you forever!